It's certainly faster than most of our guests trying to find their room keys after a night out. We aim for 'blazing fast'.

While we appreciate your unique companion, our insurance policy has a strict 'no mythical beasts' clause. A well-behaved poodle, however, might get a nod.

Don't panic. Just find a staff member who isn't currently juggling flaming torches. They'll sort you out.

Yes, and it's so good you might consider proposing to the chef. We recommend holding off until after checkout.

We have a gym. It's mostly used for dramatic movie training montages. Feel free to join the fun.

Maybe. Depends if we've already started polishing the floors for the next guest. Ask nicely, and you might get lucky.

That's easy: you. Well, and the stunning views. But mostly you.

So good, you'll want to frame them. We've considered charging extra for window access, but we're not *that* evil.

We prefer to call them 'opportunities for improvement'. Bring it to us, and we'll see if we can turn that frown upside down.

Only by the ghosts of excellent service and unforgettable stays. No spectral roommates guaranteed.